Hello, I’m back with another Random Thoughts post, actually the first one of the year.
I also got that Wi-Fi issue fixed by buying a hotspot. Works much better.
So, I’m sitting here at work, working of course, which is the reason why I go to work and I’m feeling down, like physically and mentally drained. I wasn’t sure if it was the weather, if I was over doing it with the workouts, not enough vitamins in my diet, etc. Then I started to feel that lost feeling.
It’s like I know I am not lost spiritually and there is no void spiritually in my life, but I’m feeling a tad stuck in other areas of my life. Maybe it’s my fault, because I’ve been working or sick with Pneumonia or had surgery. Maybe I need a vacation that doesn’t involve surgery or being sick.
Alright, Lord willing, I’m going on a vacation with my sister the first week of March and yes, it cannot come fast enough. Maybe I’m feeling bored or restless, or just lazy. Whatever the issue is, I’ve mentally checked out and it’s affecting my physical strength (which is odd, because I’m working out almost daily now) It’s like my thoughts are all over the place. When I’m working out, I’m focused on that. Nothing else can distract that, but after it’s over, I want to sleep or watch King of Queens. I’m like there has to be more than this. Maybe I need to shake up my routine. Maybe I need companionship that doesn’t involve my sister, mother, and four legged cutie companion.
I mean it always come back to wanting to get married and to have kids, especially since people that you grew up with you, that are younger than you already married and having kids. So, today I google searched out of the blue “How does God let you know when it’s time to meet your spouse?” I found 3 sites that was on point and it reminded me that
1) God is in control, always, even when we think that he’s not paying attention, he is.
2) I need to remember to be content where I am now, before that role of being a mother and wife begins.
3) I cannot stop serving God. I must continue to serve him in all areas of my life, according to his word, will, and purpose.
4) It’s not about me
I cannot remember if I shared this or not, but I thought I had met my husband years ago. We only talked on social media, but the time came where we were going to be in the same area and we met. Now, at this time I’m still thinking “he this man is my husband” and the more I thought that, the more the Lord revealed the red flags. The flags were red and it was loud and clear that this man was not my husband and definitely not the father of my future kids.
So the things that I took from all 3 sites that helped me in a nutshell were also:
1) Talk to God and explain to him how I’m feeling: the good, the bad, and the ugly
2) Faith without works is definitely dead. As of right now, the only place I’m really seeing men is at stores and work. I need to branch out, go back to the bookstore that I used to hang out (I actually met someone there), perhaps with extreme caution and prayer, maybe try a dating site (Watching shows like Criminal Minds and ID channel shows is not helping with this particular suggestion)
3) Be thankful and acknowledge what God has already giving me and has allowed me to experience as a single person, that I wouldn’t be able to do later on, like for an ex. Planning a trip yearly to Vegas (it’s dirt cheap to me for some reason) or going to Walmart at 6 in the morning, or just up and go to the movies by myself (ok I can probably still do most of this but it wouldn’t be as often)
4) Work on myself and I’ve also been more active in doing that so far in 2015. I’m working out everyday just about and love it. My mind is clearer, it’s just when I’m not working out that my brain is a bit fried.
There are still some things on this long journey that I haven’t learned nor do I understand, but in the midst of my fears and overwhelming emotions, I know that God has a bonafide plan for me that will enrich his glorification. At the end of the day, I can speculate all day long why x, y, and z is happening, but our Heavenly Father gives us free will and common sense, we will either make decisions for ourselves without his input or we can make decisions with his full input. It’s not really complicated in hindsight or in the spiritual, but in the physical it is, because we still have that old sinful nature still residing in each believer that may try to lead us down a path that rocks in that moment, instead of a path will glorify God.
So, as I’m typing this (I’m on my break at work) finally wide awake and having that eureka moment of euphoria (btw it was very brief euphoric energy) that I’m learning at the same time as I teach.
Oh here are the sites I went to:
So, checked them out and we’ll chat soon,