I have always believed that things happen for a reason, even as a little tyke. I believe that God sends people in our lives for a reason, a season, and for a lifetime.
I’m going to be completely honest, even as a Christian, I’m not going to like every single person that I have encountered in my life. Some people have left their mark and some people just weren’t memorable. If there is one thing I’m learning in adulthood is that you can’t call everyone your friend. To be a friend or to be considered a friend is to me, an incredible honor.
I think that the only true friends in my life that will be for a lifetime as of now is Jesus, my mom, and my sister. I’m eternally grateful that God gave me the mom and sister that I have. The three of us have a genuine friendship, outside of being mother/daughter/sister. We get each other and we’re always laughing about something. Together, we take care of a kitten. (You know Leia) She’s technically my cat, but her bond to my mother is stronger based on the fact that my mom is the only one that she sees like all day long. I’m not jealous of that relationship or that bond. It is what it is and I know that my cat loves me, as well. I always said that if I ever have to move out of the state, then Leia will stay with my mother (maybe a slight problem, however, if my mom and stepdad get back together, but I digress)
Wow…how did I get on my cat in this topic? Interesting……
Anyhoo, lately, I’ve been able to think more clearly, as well as catching up on Happy Endings; the Lord gave me a chance to think about this one friend of mine. He placed it on my heart before with the big question “Why are you friends with this person again?” I even made a pros/cons list. The cons actually outweighed the pros, but I still hung in there.
Then the snow happen and I was snowed in and then as I enjoyed my time at home, a situation happened on Facebook and it really opened my eyes more clearly. Granted the situation was not towards me, but if I could show you I could (but I can’t); the only thing I can say is that the post managed to offend some people and yes it did in some way offended me.
See the thing is, one of my pet peeves is people who do the “woe is me” bit. It absolutely turns me completely off. A few other pet peeves in conjunction is attention seeking, complaining, any type of put down or belittling, and people who are just plain know it alls. Let me break this down in full detail a bit.
Woe is Me and attention seeking (goes hand in hand) – Both of my grandmothers live alone and although I’m sure that they would love to have us all live with them, if it was possible, they don’t go “Dang, I’m alone….why is this happening to me?” No, they accept the situation for what it is and make the best out of it. My maternal grandma binge drinks, especially when she gets sad, but she doesn’t share that part of herself (unless you are around her at that moment) and she doesn’t do it for attention seeking or to have people feel sorry for her. She was the one that actually taught me and my sister to love ourselves. And she will tell you straight up, “I love me and I love you.” Still can’t believe she is 91 and my paternal grandmother is joining her soon in the 90s.
Complaining – Everyone complains, but some people do it more dramatically than others. I’ll admit, I complain but I’m also not going to sit and dwell in whatever problem that has expressed itself. Example: I’m not married and I don’t have kids yet and all my other friends from high school already have either teenagers or they just got pregnant and they are married. I’m not jealous. Now at one time I did complain, but as I got to know the Lord, I begin to understand that I probably wasn’t ready and I need to wait on him. So I just got busy doing other things. The time will come when I will get married and have kids; I have no doubt about that. It’s just not today. I’m not jealous of anyone else, because I don’t know the price they paid to get to where they are today; it was probably something I couldn’t handle or it just wasn’t my path to follow. James said that “Faith without works is dead” So there is a huge difference between complaining and blaming life about why this or that hasn’t happen and there is complaining, but with a plan of attack. I choose to attack, than place blame.
Belittling – I’m a sensitive person, in fact, I’m a highly sensitive person. As I get older, certain things make me cry quickly and other things make me slow to cry, same with being angry and so on. If you want to get me ticked off, belittle me or put me down; it will seriously turn my blood black (it won’t but you get the idea). I can’t stand to see anyone be belittled or put down. I’ve had people say to me “Hey you’re not going to amount to anything” that’s a light unto my feet, so I can prove them wrong most definitely. But some people aren’t able to let them use that tactic as a motivator, so it breaks my heart to see anyone perceived as weak and others put them down. I may have told someone before that they suck, but it’s when they have done something that is stupid. But, I am not going to stay you suck at life and you should just drink bleach and die. That’s just not cool, it’s ungodly, and that’s just wrong. And belittling them doesn’t have to be all “You suck at life” it could also be reminding a person of where they should be in your eyes. I’m like no; God has a plan that does not include suggestions from you, okay…… People giving unsolicited advice can be a form of belittling. “Dude did I ask you for your opinion, I just wanted to chat.” “Well, I thought you could use some advice.” Well, ya thought wrong. Never, ever live your life according to the people of this world, because you’ll never please them. Please God only and of course, yourself.
My sister learned about contaminated people a while ago and taught me about that it’s basically toxic people. Toxic people are like an infection you just can’t get rid of. They make you sick physically and mentally to the point, where you just want to get rid of them. They have an energy that just sucks the like out of you. Even the most happiest and perky person can go blah from an energy sucker. I need every ounce of energy I can get, so I don’t need anyone taking that away. Sometimes, you have to tell people goodbye.
In conclusion, I told my now ex-friend that I wanted to end the friendship. I was completely honest about why, and I’ve been in prayer from start to finish and will continue to be. I may feel bad and miss the fun, but I’ll save money. Haha…no seriously, I will feel better in the long run. I rather have joy everyday, than have joy for a split second. I have unspeakable joy from Jesus Christ, when he became my Lord and Savior. And, I’m not alone. My ex-friend is just too negative for my own sanity and even though it may be feeling like I’m kicking him when he’s down. I don’t think I am. I’m neither proud nor happy that I potentially have hurt someone, but in the long run, I would be the one hurting.
I’m sure Satan will say “but he needs you.” No he doesn’t. He’ll be fine. My part in his life is over and his part in mine is over. It was time to make the step and move on.
When one door closes, another one will definitely open up.
Don’t hesitate to tell some people goodbye, especially if it’s going to be toxic in your life.