Ok. So, everyday we’re tested. That’s just a fact of life, especially for a Christian. So, today I was tested and I did good, I didn’t cuss. Yay! Me.
Now, I know myself better than anyone does, except my mom and God. They know me like a book, with God knowing the most about me. Anyone close to me should know by now, I hate being guilt or forced into doing anything; and if I do give in, expect an attitude from me. Now the attitude can range from snarky to downright mean with strength. So, as I’ve learned from experiences past, we can do anything because we don’t want to do, because it makes someone else feel good, especially when you’re doing it out of guilt or you’re being forced.
If I was still the old me, I would have cussed someone out; because at the end of my journey as a non-believer, I was a potty mouth.
The trip thing about it, if someone pulls the guilt trip on me, that just makes me want to do the complete opposite just to piss them off. People have to learn that everyone rocks to the beat of their own drum and Hey I was created to worship and service God, not man.
True story: I’m super shy to the point where I don’t go to parties, concerts, and if a place gets to crowded, I will have panic attacks. Did I ask for this? No way, but it is what it is. So, most people don’t understand why I may say no later on to something, such as going to a party or even a wedding.
When I was a teenager and would go to amusement parks with my friends, because I hated riding roller coasters, this one friend I had would actually tell me they didn’t want to be my friend anymore if I didn’t ride. So, as I got older, I would respond to the guilt trip more to please the other person. Now, at 32 years old, saying no is becoming most refreshing. I can’t live all my days in a therapist office. (I don’t btw)
So, what is a girl to do as a believer? Should I give in or take it for what it is and learn from it.
This is what you should do:
1) Go with your gut… if something doesn’t feel right to you, don’t do it. Maybe it’s God’s way of protecting you. He knows what is about to happen before you do. Maybe he sees something that may get you into trouble.
Example: For me, if I am somewhere that I feel uncomfortable and shy, I’ll drink if they offer it. I like to keep a clear head and I’m on meds, so drinking for me is not always a good thing.
2). Never, ever give in to something you don’t want to do. You know that verse “God loves a cheerful giver” Well, since you are giving up your time, when you do something you don’t want to do; do you really think you are going to be in the mood to be cheery and happy-natured? No.
3) Be true to yourself. Please have enough esteem to say no. My mom always said, that you can’t please everyone, because sometimes even if you do the very thing that they want you to do, they will still complain about it. So ask yourself and yes, sometimes it is ok to be selfish and this is one of those times, if it’s not good for you.
4) But more importantly what you must do is……… Pray about it. God is the ultimate source and the author and finisher of your faith and entire being. He already knows how we feel and why we are feeling it, but he just want us to come correct and tell him.
So if your friends of any kind (even family members) forces you or guilt you into doing something you can’t do or don’t want to do, it may be time to do a friendship inventory or keep your distance. (this is actually the reason why I don’t keep in touch with one of my grandmothers….I know, I know….Jade you suck….No I need not have a heart attack at my age.) Because who knows what is they can guilt you into do.
Then sometimes they may understand after you explain how you feel. I know my friend told me to stop making excuses and just say I didn’t want to do something. Ok my sister told me the same thing. Life is a learning process.
Ah! Sometimes, I just want to go live on a beach in a hut with just my bible, my kitten, my laptop, and my Jackie Collins books and veg out from the world. Oh and my Christian Bale movies. lol
Wishful thinking of course.